Burning Through Ice
by ChloBoLow Hale
Summary: Just out of the Army, Sergeant Whitlock and his close group of friends head to a secluded cabin to Ski where he plans to come out. Edward has crushed on Jasper for years, even believing he was straight. What happens when the boys get snowed in?AH/MA/SLASH
1. Road to Hell

**Summary: Just out of the Army, Sergeant Whitlock and his close group of friends head to a secluded cabin to ski where he plans to come out. Edward has crushed on Jasper for years, even believing he was straight. What happens when the boys get snowed in? AH, MA, SLASH, LEMONS. **

**Disclaimer #1: I don't own shit! The Twilight books I read, I borrowed from my little sister and the laptop I'm writing this is on loan! SM is the Mistress of all that is Twilight…. I'm just fuckin' with her boys!**

**Disclaimer #2: This is SLASH! There will be bad language, boy lovin, and BUTTSECKS! Therefore, this is rated MA! If that shit ain't your bag or you're too young to vote, EXIT NOW!**

**A/N: This is my first attempt at writing fiction EVER! Enough said. I have no idea how long it will end up being. My outline is only about 5ish chapter so far and it's not done…. but who knows. **

**Special thanks and margaritas go to the marvelous ****arianawhitlock****! Her encouragement and blind faith is what finally gave me enough courage to write. She also Beta'd my goodies and made it all purdy; but then I fucked with it some more. So if there are any errors, they are MINE! You should all REALLY go read her stories they are fantastic and oh, so hot!**

**Without further adue...**

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**Edward**

"Emmett! Slow the fuck down!"

"Leah, I'm not going that fast. It's just that we have already been driving for three hours. And I can cut the last two down by half an hour…"

This is a common occurrence with my brother and his fiancé. There's always something to argue about. However, this time, I'm fairly certain that the rest of us are anxious to get to the cabin as well. Although, my anxiety is not from leg cramps or needing to piss like Leah and Alice. No, I've been counting down the miles because this is the closest I've been to Jasper for more than a few minutes in over four years.

Although, judging from the noises coming from the back row of seats; Riley and Alice found an enjoyable way to kill time.

"Would you two knock it off back there? Having to listen to my little cousin make out with his wife is not exactly my idea of entertainment," Jasper huffs.

An unexpectedly loud boom of laughter followed Jasper's griping, "Aw Jas, you're just jealous that you don't have a cute little lady like Alice to enjoy for yourself."

Jasper stiffens almost imperceptivity before replying, "No, Emmett, I can assure you I'm not in the least."

No one else noticed Jasper's reaction. The only reason I did is that I've never been more aware of anyone or anything else in my life. The day he moved next door to live with Riley and his parents my whole life was turned upside-down. I had never seen a more beautiful or depressed person in my fifteen years. His parents had died in a car accident in Dallas and his closest relatives were my best friend's family.

Jasper continued, "So tell me about this cabin we're going to anyway. I've been deployed every time ya'll get a chance to come up here." _God, I love it when he relaxes enough to let that sexy southern twang out! _That is _so_ not helping.

"Emmett and Edward's Aunt Tanya inherited it our freshman year in college while you were in Afghanistan the first time," Alice replied, fixing her lipstick. "It's near a ski resort called Mission Ridge on the outskirts of Cashmere. It's such a cute little town! Leah, we should hit some of the boutiques we missed last time."

"Well, I was planning on going into town to get groceries and things since we won't get to the cabin until after ten tonight anyway." Leah agrees, "Emmett, would you mind driving us into town? That road to town from the cabin is horrible."

"I'll come too. I need to go to the sporting goods store. I didn't realize that my skis were broken until we were loading up the Navigator," Riley interjected.

_Maybe Jasper will want to go too_. Part of me wishes he will. I don't think I'll be able to spend the entire day alone with him without embarrassing myself by staring at him or shoving my foot in my mouth. It will kill me to be that close to him and restrain myself after not seeing him for so long. The other, bigger part of me hopes that I'll get the opportunity to have so much of his undivided attention. Good grief, when did I turn into a teenage girl? _When the object of your fantasies since before you could drive came back home permanently. _Oh, yeah, that. Either way, tomorrow will be hell.

"Edward, Jasper, would you two mind staying at the cabin tomorrow?" Alice asked. "No one has been up there in _months_ and it could use a good cleaning."

"An overhaul is more like it," Leah chuckles.

Before I can argue that Jasper doesn't need to stay and that I could do it myself, he replies, "No problem ladies."

Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic. The straight man I've lusted over since before I even came out decides he wants to spend the day with me. _Isn't this what you wanted? _Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know! Maybe we'll be in different rooms. _Right._ Oh, just shut it!

"So Jasper, any ladies sad to see you leave base for the last time?" Emmett's question snaps me out of my internal argument. I am so focused on Jasper that once again I could swear I see him tense minutely. But no one else seems to notice.

"No Em, I didn't break any hearts by leaving," he replies with a nervous chuckle. Come to think of it, I've never known Jasper to have a serious girlfriend. In high school, he was always so busy with JROTC and running on the track team. He dated a few times, but nothing ever significant. And once he was in the Army, he never stayed in one place long enough that wasn't a deployment. _He probably only ever had flings between deployments and doesn't want to own up to it around Alice and Leah_. Alice would ask too many questions and Leah would tear him a new one.

I could sympathize with those women. I've seen Jasper in uniform, many times… and fanaticized about it even more. Hell, in high school, I'm pretty sure I was the only guy that looked forward to Tuesdays. That was the day JROTC students wore their uniform.

Why is it that we always want the unattainable ones the most? Even aside from the fact that he's straight, once I told the group I was gay midway through Junior year, he always managed to put just a bit more distance between us. They were all very supportive of me, Jasper included, but from then on, our friendship seemed somewhat strained, even forced at times.

I'll bet that he didn't even do it consciously. I doubt he realized the unspoken rule that we were never alone for long and that there was just a bit more physical distance as well. I suppose one can be supportive and understanding without being entirely comfortable; even if they don't realize it. And no one seemed to realize it either. I have always just been _that_ hyperaware of Jasper.

Jasper suddenly perks up with a huge grin on his beautiful face and leans forward saying, "Hey Leah, remind me before you go to the store to give you a list. I wanted to make chili one night while we're here."

"Yes! Jasper, you haven't made your chili for all of us since you came home on leave a year ago." Leave it to Alice to be the one most excited about food. With her thin, petite build, if you didn't know her, you'd swear she was anorexic. The truth is that there have been meals that I've seen her put Emmett to shame with the amount she can eat.

Everyone else proceeded to add this or that to the shopping list. All I wanted was for someone to stop at the liquor store. I had a feeling that Capitan Morgan was going to have to help me cope with spending so much time around Sergeant Whitlock.

As we pull into the driveway, Leah begins the room assignments, "Emmett and I can take the bedroom next to the kitchen. Riley, you and Alice can have the other room with a king bed. And sorry boys, the only room left has two queens in it so you'll have to share the room and its adjoining bathroom. But at least no one has to sleep on the sofa."

_Fuck my life. _

* * *

By the time we get the truck unloaded, we barely have enough energy to put linens on the beds. Once I finished mine, I went out to the kitchen to help Leah sort through the pantry to make her grocery list.

Just before I head to the bathroom to change for bed, Alice hollers, "Well, it's a good thing we decided to just to take tomorrow to shop and get ready for the week. The weather man just said that it is supposed to snow most of the day tomorrow and visibility will be pretty low on the slopes."

That's the best news I've heard all day. "Sweet, that means there'll be a layer of fresh powder on the slopes for the next day." Then I ask, "Did the report mention how much?"

"He said it shouldn't be more than about two or three inches here around town," Alice replies, "but to expect an inch or two more up at the summit."

At least part of my week is looking up.

As I make my way to my room after talking to Alice about which slopes we want to try, the old upright piano next to the fire place catches my eye and I just can't help but sit to see if it needs to be tuned. I start out with Auld Lang Syne and I only get a few bars into it before Alice scolds me saying, "Not yet, we still have a few days!"

I chuckle and switch to some Beethoven for a while and once everyone has settled into their rooms for the night, I shift to the first piece I ever wrote. This piece grew up with me; I started it at the end of freshman year when I was trying to work out whether or not I should come out to my parents. They took it well, just as everyone else did later on.

When my mother commented on it my junior year of high school, she would ask if my struggle to come out was the motivation. I didn't correct her or anyone else's assumptions. I could never tell them that it was for the boy I loved but would never have. As my feelings for him grew through high school, so did the melody. As my heart broke every time I would see him flirt with a girl, it would be reflected in the harmonies. And when my heart broke finding out that enlisting in the Army meant going half way around the world into a war, it could be heard in the discord as well.

As the last note lingers through the rafters I realize that everyone else has retired for bed so I decide to call it a night. Thankfully, when I go to bed, Jasper is already asleep. Once I turn off the light, there is just enough moonlight to illuminate his face. I haven't gotten the chance to unabashedly study his beauty since high school. He's aged, obviously, as we all have. But it's more than physically. It's as if you can see the trials of a soldier at war etched upon his stunning face along with the scar just under his right eye and the other in front of his left ear… thank God they didn't take him away from me, instead, if it is even possible, they only add to his allure.

His blond waves are beginning to grow back out just a touch after having a regulation cut for the past four years. I didn't think I could miss something as simple as the length of a person's hair. And if it were anyone else, I probably wouldn't. I asked Jasper once my sophomore, his junior year why he kept his hair down to his chin. Wasn't it annoying during track? He replied that he knew once he enlisted after graduation, he would have no freedom as to what it looked like for four years. That's when I knew JROTC wasn't just a hobby or something to pass the time in high school. He was serious about being a soldier. And going to war.

This isn't the first time that I've had a chance to admire Jasper in the state of rest. Riley would stay the night at our house often when we were kids. Then in high school, when Jasper came to live with them, he was immediately welcomed into our little family of friends and would stay over too. When he slept then, he always seemed to bring his pleasant affect into slumber with him. Now, however, I could see a slight grimace and his jaw was set tightly.

I laid in bed awake watching him for a while longer and he would occasionally tense or jerk. A couple of times he even grumbled incoherently with his brow furrowed in a scowl. Gone was the boy at ease even in his sleep. Now lay a man aged far beyond his twenty-three years.

When I realize it's past midnight, I set my alarm for half past seven. Hoping I won't wake Jasper too early.

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**A/N: Please leave your thoughts! Thanks for giving my little story a chance!**

Road to Hell


	2. Good & Bad Things Both Come In Threes

**Disclaimer: I'm renting my apartment and I'm borrowing this computer…. SMyer created these fellas…. But fandom makes 'em better! *GASP* (Oh, no, she didn't! Oh, yes, I did!)….. Nor do I own any of the music or films mentioned. **

**WARNING: This is a SLASH fic! That means guy on guy SMUT, KISSIN', LOVIN', and even some SUCKIN'! If that shit don't flip your switch or you were born during the Clinton Administration, back away slowly, and no one gets hurt. **

**A/N: I've gotten a few questions about JROTC. I'm not an expert, I just remember a few things from it being in my HS and some family in the military. And Google does NOT have all the right answers. That being said, if I get something wrong, please let me know! I am so grateful to all the ppl in the military and do not want to in anyway misrepresent them. **

******Ya wanna know why I love arianawhitlock so damn much? Because I sent her a load of shit and she fuckin' grew daisies with it! She's been the best beta a girl could ask for! If you haven't read her fuckawesome fics, do it NOW! (as soon as you review mine of course lol)**

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**Chapter 2: Good & Bad Things Both Come In Threes**

**Jasper **

"Jared….no…please…Jared…"

I groan as I roll over and plug my head with my pillow. Edward has been talkin' in his sleep for about a half and hour and it's killin' me to hear another man's name on his lips. I want it to be mine. It _should _be mine. Why didn't I ever tell him? _Because_ y_ou were a coward hiding behind a uniform. Now, you're just a pansy._ I scowled at the truth. Frowning, I realize I deserve this torture. Edward is happy with another man and I will always be lookin' back in the rear view mirror wondering what might have been.

Giving up on blocking him out I decide to go ahead and get up. As I cross the room to take a shower, I hear Edward moan and I freeze. _Did he just say my name?_ I turn to him but he's obviously sleeping and I dismiss it. Y_ou're hearing things Whitlock. Stop with the wishful thinking. His boyfriend's name is __**Jared**__._ I frown as I watch him for a moment but then I can't help but smile at how well he has aged. Jared is a very lucky man, and I'm a dumbass.

After turning on the shower and waiting for the water to warm up, I torment myself with the proverbial _if only_. If only I was brave enough years ago to voice my feelings to Edward, it could be _my_ name he whispers in his sleep.

Steppin' into the shower, I relax into the hot water loosening my muscles and warmin' me to my bones. After washin' my hair, I reach for my shower gel when I see Edward's right next to mine. It's some organic stuff I've never heard of. _Hmm, peppermint. What the hell? Let him ask me. _Opening the cap, I'm instantly surrounded by his arousing sent.

I work some into a lather and allow myself to imagine if he didn't have Jared. I wouldn't have woken up alone. _Keep dreaming shithead. _As I run my soapy hands along my torso, my breath catches in my throat when I reach my nipples. _Oh. My. God. This shit tingles! _Just the thought of Edward using this in the shower to pleasure himself makes me painfully hard.

With that, I decide the risk of him walkin' into the bathroom on me mid-stroke is well worth it. _Not to mention terribly exciting! _I lather up some more and close my eyes imagining him palming the head of my stiff cock.

"Oh, Edward…" I groan.

I can almost feel him wrapping his long fingers around us both, stroking us with his hand, pumping us together. He'd reach his other hand down to tug on my sack and stroke us even faster in time with my thrusts. All the while, the tingles on the head of my member have me so worked up my legs are shakin'. Leaning my back against the wall and spreading my legs, I look down at myself and see him reachin' behind my balls. I'm _so fuckin' close_ I can barely breathe without moaning. I'm whimpering and groanin' so much, I can almost hear him tell me _just_ how he's gonna take me. _"After I suck you off, I'll watch you fuck yourself on my fingers Jasper…."_

"Oh, shit!" I breathe. _God, I need to cum!_ I begin circlin' my entrance, adding more and more pressure with each pass.

"_Do you need to cum baby? How about I fuck you face first into the floor Jasper?" _he'd murmur.

"Fuck yes!" I pant.

Finally, just when I know I'm gonna collapse on the floor simply from pure need alone, he'd command _"Cum for me Jas!" _as he slides his finger deep inside my hole.

I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out Edward's name as I cum hard in long, thick ribbons all over the shower wall while my whole body convulses violently. I stand under the hot water gasping, waiting for my strength to return until the water runs cold.

When reality hits, I chastise myself. Maybe if I'd come out in high school like Edward, we'd at least had a chance together I and wouldn't have to settle for fantasies of him. Missing a chance to be Edward's was the only regret I have about the military. _Fuckin' "don't ask, don't tell" policy. _Instead, when I'm finally ready to come clean about my sexuality with everyone, he's settled into a relationship with _Jared._

Regardless of my regrets, I'm still set on telling my friends about my sexuality. The past is behind me and so are the military's policies. I think the first healthy step into my new life is admitting who I really am. I just wish that it wasn't too late, that the man I know I could have loved wasn't in love with someone else.

_Wait, was he in love?_ _Was it just __**settling**__? _The question pops into my mind involuntarily as I think back to the one and only time that I met Jared last year. They didn't put out that overly happy, almost sickening, vibe like you'd expect with a new relationship. They didn't gravitate toward each other and weren't very affectionate either. Actually, Edward seemed almost more annoyed than anything; at least to me. I roll my eyes sighing. They were only together for a few months then and I'm sure there relationship has improved. In fact, I'm sure it has; last month, according to Riley, they were talking about moving in together. _But if that's true why isn't he with us on this trip?_ He must be visiting family for the holidays or something. Otherwise, I couldn't imagine passing up the opportunity to go to a secluded cabin with Edward if he were mine. _Hell, I couldn't now._  
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* * *

_After dressing, I return to the bedroom to find that Edward is already out of the room. My stomach flips when I recall just how thin these walls are. _Fuck_, I heard Leah and Emmett at it last night and they're down the hall. I know Edward must've heard me. At least I managed to keep from hollerin' his name aloud. _I did, didn't I? Shit! _

With a sigh, I head down the hall to the kitchen to see what can be done for breakfast only to find Alice, Leah, and Edward finalizing the shopping list.

With a bright smile, Leah says, "Good morning, Jasper."

"Mornin' everyone." I answer with a stretch, "Did we bring anything to eat until the kitchen is stocked?"

"Sorry," Alice sighs, "but unless you want to _really_ cook something, all we have are granola bars and canned fruit."

"No problem," I smile, "anything is better than MREs."

Leah crinkles her nose saying, "Yep, anything is right. Emmett talked me into trying some of the one you gave him once. I'll stick to granola, thank you very much."

We all share a laugh at her comment and I can't help watch Edward's beautiful face light up and then nearly groan when I notice his Adam's apple bob with his chuckles and my disobedient dick responds with a twitch. In hopes of controlling myself, I turn my attention back to Leah and joke, "Aw Lee, they're not that bad. You sure you don't wanna try again? I brought my last ones to give to Emmett. I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharin' one."

She tries to give me a harsh look with her eyebrow raised and snaps, "Uh, no." but everyone can see the small smirk she's trying to hide.

Leah's eyes light up when Emmett comes into the kitchen and he asks, "Are you ladies ready to head out? Riley's out in the truck waiting, it should be heated up enough by now."

Once everyone else has left, Edward and I hunt down all of the cleaning supplies. I volunteer to do all of the bathrooms and floors so he decides to do the kitchen and dusting for now.

We spend the majority of the mornin' in separate areas of the house, not really seein' much of one another unless it's to swap supplies. This is both a relief and a disappointment. Edward hooked up his iPod to the stereo and I can't help but smile when I realize he must have made a playlist of all sorts of random music from when we were in high school.

Just as _For you to Notice_ by Dashboard Confessional begins to play, I make my way down the hall for some glass cleaner. I roll my eyes at the irony and as I get to the kitchen, with a laugh, I call out, "Man, Edward, I forgot just how emo music could be when we were younger!" Although, it's still one of my favorite bands.

My phone rings as I hear his laughter. "Hello." I answer, sitting at the breakfast bar.

"Dude! Man have you looked outside?" Riley asks.

I frown as I walk to the windows. _Uh oh._ "Are you guys stuck? Do you need us to bring shovels?"

"No, we're trapped in town and will be stuck in a hotel for the next night or two. This thing came in hard and fast. No one expected it to be this bad. The road to the cabin is closed and so is the main road in town. Everyone up the mountain at the lodge is stranded too. Are you guys going to be alright?"

I frown. "I've worked with less. Don't worry, we'll survive." _At least physically. This is going to be torture. _

"Hey give me that!" Riley calls and I hear a smack of the hand. "Jasper?"

"Yeah Leah."

"Maybe this is the powers that be trying to tell you something you know." She encourages with a small laugh.

"He has a boyfriend Leah, I'm not gonna interfere." I moan. Why, oh, why did I decide to confide in her? _Because you would have driven yourself mad otherwise. _

"Well, you will never know if you don't try." She counters.

"You're not helping Leah." I mutter "Look you guys have fun orderin' room service and shopping. We'll see you in a few days." I hang up the phone before she can argue and jump out of my skin when I hear Edward behind me.

"A few days?" he asks.

"Look outside." I answer trying to calm my heart. _God, how much of that did he hear?_

"Aww, hell!" he whines and I am almost positive he's restraining a foot stamp.

"Yeah, they're stuck in town and we're stuck here, until the plows can come in a couple of days." I watch his reaction intensely as he takes in the news of being trapped in the same house with me. He seems nervous but so am I. _But why is he nervous?_ Maybe because you've blatantly distanced yourself from him since you found out that he was gay. Maybe because you avoided him like the plague in fear that he would figure you out. _Butthead._ "As long as there are not any real problems, we should be fine for a few days." I continue, "We don't have any fresh food, but I can get creative with what we do have in the pantry. And so far we don't have any problems with electricity or water. We should put the faucets on drip though, to avoid freezing."

An awkward silence falls between us for a moment before Edward smiles, "Well, speaking of the pantry, let's get creative, I was coming to get you because I was getting hungry."

* * *

We manage to throw together some vegetarian spaghetti and spend lunch just catchin' up. When I asked how he managed to graduate a semester ahead, he just shrugd and said that it really wasn't all that difficult. That taking the max number of hours and doing summer classes for gen ed courses, he was able to back off a bit when he needed to take more music classes. He said that since Emmett and I had graduated a year before him and Riley was doing trade school for carpentry after graduation, he wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to catch up with everyone a bit.

"So what grade will you be teachin'?" I ask.

"Elementary school music," he replies, "the first through third graders. And I may do a few private piano lessons if there are any kids interested. What are you planning to do Jasper?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure. Military was my only focus for so long that I hadn't really thought past startin' college and being an infantry scout didn't exactly provide any educational inspiration. The GI Bill will help with tuition and I have a lot of my parents' estate left to live on since pretty much everything was provided in the Army. So aside from starting with my basics at Peninsula College in Port Angeles, I haven't given much thought beyond that." I really need to figure out what the fuck I'm doin' with my life.

"That sounds like a good idea. I'm sure you'll figure out what you want to do soon; those gen ed classes will probably give you an idea or two." he encourages with a smile. Suddenly, he shivers lightly, "Damn, it's gotten cold in here."

"Yeah, it has." I agree. "I'm glad I'm not the only one to get cold. After spendin' so much time in the desert, I freeze so much faster now! It's fuckin' annoyin'!"

"I'll go adjust the thermostat." Edward says with a chuckle as he stands up.

While he checks the heat, I go back into the kitchen to clean up lunch. Luckily, it seems that Edward and I are pretty much all done cleaning he cabin. Now, we can relax for the rest of the day. _Relax right, more like work myself up into gray hair._ I need to stop pussy footin' around and tell him, maybe then I can relax a little. After all, he would be the most understanding of the group. Hopefully. _Will he be hurt that I've lied to him all these years?_ It doesn't matter, I need to take the risk and stop lyin' to all of them; they're my only family. It's not like he and I close, the worse that will happen is that he ends our friendship. _Or lack there of._ I groan at the thought of never seeing him again but I know it's my own damn fault. No, I'm going to tell him, just as soon as I'm done with the dishes. At the very least, eight years of keeping secrets and telling lies will be off my shoulders.

As I'm drying the last dish, I hear Edward shout, "Son of a bitch!" shortly followed by an even louder, "Damn it!"

_Then again, maybe not._

I walk down the hall to the utility closet where Edward is crouched in front of the furnace. _Oh, God. _It takes every bit of self control I posses to keep from whimpering when I see the sliver of skin above his jeans. As I lean over, I can just see the crack of his perfect ass and I nearly cum in my pants right then. _He has a boyfriend, he's happy with Jared._ I remind myself.

"It's broken." he says, snapping me out of my inner struggle. "The wiring is all corroded." I moan at that. It's going to get fucking cold in here. My survival training kicks in quickly and I know that body heat is the best way to stay warm. If we can't fix this then I am going to be forced to snuggle up with the biggest crush of my life and treasure it with the axe hanging over my head that he's not mine to have. _Fuck, we've got to fix this. _We spend half an hour troubleshooting to see if there is anything we can do to fix the damn thing. We need new wires but that's not possible. I call Riley and have him pick some up for when they get back but until then Edward and I are going to have to make do.

We walk back into the den and with his brows bunched in concentration Edward says, "Well, we still have electricity and I'm pretty sure there's a space heater in the closet." Then he sighs, "The old wood-burning stove does work, we'll just need to clean it out. However, it doesn't put much heat out past the den and I'm not sure how much wood we have available to burn."

"I noticed when we got in last night that there's two thirds of a rick left or so." I point out. "That should last us a few days as long as we don't overdo it."

* * *

Surprisingly, even under the circumstances, we are enjoying ourselves. This is the most time I've spent with Edward in years and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to handle it. But we seem comfortable together and I force the negative thoughts of what I can't have behind me. As the time progresses and we accept our predicament I am getting stronger on my decision to tell him. Our conversation starts with high school memories and laughter and when we eat canned chicken noodle, we decide to watch a movie so we can be near the fire.

While he's diggin' through a box of movies, I lick my dry lips about ready to start my next topic of conversation, _Hey Edward, guess what, we're both gay._ I never did claim to be tactful. Just as I brace myself to tell him, his phone rings next to me. I look over at it and my heart sinks at seein' the name, _Jared. Fuck._

"It's Jared," I tell him trying not to frown as I reach forward to hand it to him.

Edward unexpectedly straightens his shoulders and narrows his eyes saying, "Just ignore it." He replies moving to put the movie in the DVD player and I can tell that he's shaken up a little. I try to hold in a groan, _perfect, they're fighting._

"Edward, what's wrong?" I ask worried. When he doesn't respond, I continue, "He's your boyfriend," I remind him, "don't you wanna talk to him?"

"No. I don't." he snaps. Then his shoulders fall and he sighs, "I'm sorry Jasper, just let voicemail pick it up."

I get up and walk over to him. As I sit next to him, I ask, "Is everythin' okay Edward?" He looks so upset that I can't help wrap an arm around him and we both seem to relax into one another. _What are you doing Whitlock? Stop torturing yourself moron!_ But all I want to do is wrap my other arm around him and pull him to me so I can hold him. Instead I ask, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

He lays his head on my shoulder and I close my eyes when I can smell his hair. _Delicious. Stop it. He's taken._

After a few moments, he slumps even more and says, "He's not my boyfriend anymore." _Not his boyfriend? He's single? Hallelujah! _It takes every ounce of strength I have not to smile and pull him into me and kiss him. _Stop it, you're getting ahead of yourself. Get some clarification._

"Wait how could you go from moving in together to breaking up?" I ask and he gives me a quizzical look so I shrug. "Riley told me."

He nods and he answers dripping acid, "We broke up three weeks ago. We went to a club and when he took a long time to come back from the restroom, I went to find him." He's quiet for a moment before continuing, "He was getting head from some twink in the last stall. The door wasn't even closed," he snarked. Then with a dark chuckle he says, "It was almost like he was trying to get caught." _Douche._

_Jared's a fuckin' tool. I'm not sure whether I want to kick his ass for hurtin' my man or thanking him for giving me a chance. _Forcing myself back into the moment I whisper, "I'm so sorry Edward." And I am. As much as I would love to have him for myself, it's killin' me to see him in this much pain. "But Edward," I continue, "as horrible as it was to have found out that way, I'm glad you're not with someone that would do somethin' like that to you." Then I ask, "Does anyone else know?"

"No, not yet. I was going to tell everyone tonight when they got in."

"Are you okay Edward?" I ask clenching my fingers behind my back to avoid running them through his hair.

He sighs, "Yeah, I'm fine Jas, I've just been more angry than anything. It's not like I'm brokenhearted. Don't get me wrong, I cared a lot for him but I was never really _in love_ with him. I think he knew to some degree because it was his idea to move in together in hopes of me falling for him I think. I suppose when I wasn't terribly enthusiastic about it, he felt trapped. Who knows? I didn't ask, I just dumped him that night and haven't spoken to him since." _Yes, I knew it!_

He's absentmindedly brushing his thumb back and forth my knee. I didn't even realize when he put his hand there. _It was probably when you were sniffing him._ As much as it kills me to do so, I sit up in attempts to keep control and he drops his hand when I ask, "So what movie did you find?"

He smiles, realizing I'm trying to lighten to melancholy mood and says, "It's between _The Hangover _and _What's Eating Gilbert Grape_."

I chuckle and say, "As much as I love having 'Match in the gas tank' stuck in my head, I'm feelin' the need for funny and I've never seen _The Hangover_ though Leah has put it on my must do list_."_

His beautiful face cracks a huge grin and says, "Excellent! I love this one and you will _not_ be disappointed."

As he gets the works on skipping the previews, I gather a few spare blankets and settle into the couch as close to the fire as I can get. When Edward comes over to the couch, he laughs saying, "Three blankets? Really Jasper?"

I scowl, "Man, I'm freezin'! I told you I can't handle the cold very well anymore."

He sits next to me on the couch and smiles indulgently, "Well, you're back home in Washington now, life is gonna suck if you can't fix that." He laughs, "Stop your pouting, Jas and share a blanket. I'm cold too." _Yes sir!_

I try with all my might to keep my attention on the movie and to laugh at all the right places but he's so close and I swear, he's even warmer than the fire on my other side. I've had to shift the blankets on my lap more than once to avoid anything obviously popping up and once the movie is finished, I decide just to go to bed to prevent any embarrassment.

As soon as I tell him I'm turning in, his shoulders slump and his face falls but he corrects himself almost instantly. _What does that mean? _With a small, almost sad smile, he bids me goodnight. I can tell he was disappointed in my quick departure. I was too but it was just becomin' far too difficult.

I quickly prepare for bed but once I'm between the sheets, I can't get my mind to stop going in circles. This has been one of the best and craziest days of my life. Getting to spend so much time alone with Edward was heavenly, even if we were cleanin' the majority of the time. We weren't even this close in school. We were always with someone else. _You did that Whitlock. _I sigh, that was true, I didn't think I could've trust myself to be alone with him without embarrassment or inadvertently outing myself. _Cowardly fool._

Not that it would have mattered to him or any of the others if I was. But I just _know_ that if I had come out then that something would have probably happened with Edward. At the very least, it would have severely complicated my going into the military. I couldn't get that close to someone before or while I was enlisted. It wouldn't be fair to them. _Not to mention that fuckin' policy._

_That's not an applicable excuse anymore Whitlock._ I should have told him tonight, it's not like I didn't have ample opportunity. But then _Jared_ called. That kind of put a damper on the whole evening and I just couldn't add my drama onto his plate too.

_Fuckin' Jared!_ If I ever see that dick again I'll beat his ass. Hell, when Emmett finds out what he did to his little brother, I might not get a chance, he'd likely put him in the hospital before I got to him. No, better yet, I am going to win Edward's heart somehow and then I am going to rub Jared's face in it. The thought makes me smile.

When I roll over and look at the clock, I groan when I realize I've been in bed over an hour and I'm still not sleepy enough to go to bed. _Shiverin' my ass off ain't helpin' either._ Just as I'm about to get up to get something to drink, I hear Edward on the piano. He's playing my favorite again. The one he wrote in high school.

I don't understand why that song has always seemingly called to me. Riley always thought it was him workin' out his sexuality and comin' out. But I don't hear that. It's such a heartbreaking melody and I can hear the hopeful longing beneath the anguished harmonies. It sounds so bittersweet, like finding what little happiness possible in a painful situation. I nearly wept last night hearin' it for the first time in so long. I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed it.

Once he finishes the song, he comes to the room and goes about his nightly routine while I play possum. _Coward._ After half an hour of watchin' him shiver in bed, I can't take anymore. _Fuck it, I can't get warm either. _I quietly get up and make my way to Edward's bed and when he stiffens as I get in, I whisper, "It's just me, I can hear your teeth chatterin' across the room and I'm fuckin' freezin' too. That space heater just ain't gettin' the job done and we'll get warmer this way."

He just hums a sleepy "hmmm" and drifts off to sleep.

* * *

Sometime later, I finally begin to drift off peacefully thanks to Edward's warmth when he suddenly rolls over towards me. _Oh, my fuck. _That's Edward's arm wrapping around my waist and his face nuzzling into my chest. I nearly whimper when he tightens his hold.

I can barely hear his mumbles with his face pressed so tightly to me but I can clearly hear, "want you... always wanted you... please Jasper…"

_OH. MY. GOD. He said my name. MY name. He wants ME._

And just when I think he's settled into sleep he murmurs "Love you Jas... so long…"

I can't help the small gasp that escapes me or the giant smile that stretches across my face either. _Just when I thought this crazy, wonderful day couldn't get any better…_

I relax into his sleepy embrace as I lightly wrap an arm around him and press my face into his hair, taking in his rich sent. That was the warmest I'd felt in ages and I soon fell into a peaceful sleep.

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A/N: Please review and let me know if there's anything you'd like to see? Thanks y'all!

**Rec: ****Gasping for Air **by **Wolfenmoon1313 **is one of my all time faves! I've read it three times so far! If you haven't checked it out, you are MISSING OUT on a beautiful/heartbreaking/loving/HOTTT story! This fic is one of the reasons I became an addicted SLASH h00r!


	3. Dreamweaver

**Disclaimer: That prude SM owns these boys. I just did what she should have…**

**Warning: This is total SLASH SMUT! If your too young to enlist, GO AWAY and take the haters with ya!**

**A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who's read, reviewed, alerted, and faved! Everyone of those emails I get tellin me just makes my day!  
and as always, my beta, arianawhitlock owns my cockblocking ass! Thanks Pimp! Sorry this has taken so long, RL fucked with me like you wouldn't believe this past week and it didn't help that this chapter was nearly giving me a stroke!… Anyway… ENJOY!**

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**Dreamweaver **

**EPOV**

Sometime during the night, I barely wake enough to snuggle down into the blankets and vaguely notice that I am much warmer than I should be. Slowly coming out of a sleep induced fog, I feel a warm body tightly pressed into my back, holding me closely. Someone is nuzzling into my hair and moving feather light kisses down my neck... _oh my fucking God! It's Jasper!_ He must be dreaming about someone.

This _cannot_ be happening! This so has to be a dream, yeah that's it I'm dreaming. With that rationalization I relax into him as his lust-filled voice begins whispering the most perfect things. "Beautiful... want you...Edward... need you..." and between each word, he is trailing soft, open mouthed kisses down my shoulder and I groan when I fell him moving kisses back up my neck.

Fuck, I'm not dreaming, am I? Is this really is Jasper! Shit, what the hell do I do? _I should stop him._ Jasper is just confused and lonely. He's fucking _straight _for Christ's sake! It will only kill me when he realizes what happened and then rejects me... But damn, this feels so fucking amazing. I know it will hurt me in the end, but I've wanted this for so long. "ung, Jasper." And then I feel him lick and tug my earlobe. Fuck, that's it, decision made. All rationality escapes me and I roll onto my back.

Instantly, Jasper is hovering above me as he devours my lips with his teeth and tongue begging for entry. _Who am I to argue with that?_ I open my mouth willingly and as soon as I suck his tongue into my mouth, I am rewarded with the most beautiful, feral groan I have ever heard. His delicious mouth is both desperate and reverent against mine and I moan when I feel his hard member grind into my hip.

"Jasper..." I gasp.

"Please Edward... please just let me feel you... let me taste you... need you so much..." He is desperately moaning into my neck as he slides my shirt up, brushing my beaded nipples on his way. The moment my shirt is off, his perfect lips are latched onto one of my cold, hard buds.

"Please Jas..."

"What Edward? Tell me what you want," he replies while sliding my sweatpants all the way down to my ankles with his teeth, whimpering I kick them off and out of the way. As he comes back up, he groans smelling my straining cock from sac to tip. He looks up to me pleading with his eyes, and all I can do is nod.

He nuzzles his nose into my short curls and places a gentle kiss at the base of my cock before kissing all the way up and back down again completely ignoring the head. He takes one ball into his warm mouth and I moan as he swirls his tongue around it and then the other. By now, I am a mumbling, moaning mess until he finally licks the precum seeping from my slit and I cry out, "Oh fuck!"

That must have encouraged him because he then completely engulfs my cock and moans around me. I stop breathing; I can barely take it and I nearly cum right then.

"Shit Jasper!"

He's licking and sucking and humming around me then he brings his hand up to roll my balls. At his first tug, I latch my hands into his hair, and _God_ it makes him groan again. I'm writhing under him, trying so hard not to fuck his beautiful mouth but I'm so damn close. And just when I don't think I can take much more of his sweet torture, he brings his other hand to that sensitive strip of flesh just below my sack.

"Fuck… Jas… " I pant, "gonna cum baby!"

At that, he moans one more time and I'm finished. I erupt into his mouth as he swallows everything I can give him in the most intense orgasm of my life.

I'm still panting as he licks my softening dick clean and crawls back up to me, leaving sweet kisses the entire way. The instant I catch my breath, I grab him by the shoulders and bring him to me to devour his mouth and I groan when I can taste us both. He' hot and heavy and completely into it but when I reach for his impossibly hard dick, he grabs my hand.

"Jasper, what-"

"Shh, Edward, that was just for you. I wanted to give you that. Now come back into my arms darlin' and sleep some more sweet dreams."

I stare at him for a moment in disbelief. Did that just seriously happen? Why doesn't he want me to return the favor? Wait, did he just ask to hold me? "Alright, but we will talk about this in the morning." And I am rewarded with the most beautiful smile I have seen on him since high school. _Yeah, right definitely a dream. A fucking hot dream, but just a dream. God please don't let me have cummed my damn pants._

I burrow into his imaginary side with his arms wrapped around me and my head resting over his heart and I fall asleep in is warm embrace.

* * *

_Mmm, that was a perfect dream._ I sigh, moving my arm to rub my eyes only to stop short, realizing it's tucked under a warm body. _The fuck?_ Then the events of last night come flooding back to me. After coming to bed, I struggled to get warm and then Jasper crawled into bed with me, cold himself. I must have been exhausted if I was able to fall asleep while sharing a bed with him.

His presence must have been what finally put me to sleep. _But why am I snuggled so close to him?_ Then more events overrun my mind…no that was a dream. _Wasn't it?_ Of course it was; it had to be. To prevent Jasper waking up to my mortification, I slide out of bed to get breakfast started. Digging through the pantry, I find what I need for pancakes and get to work recalling the theme of my dreams last night. _Jasper sucking me off – oh my fucking God, I better have not talked in my sleep. _I check my boxers just to be sure, I'm not sticking to myself. _Well thank you God for sparing me that._ It's not the first night I've dreamt of him over the years and I'm sure spending the day with him was the influence this time.

They were just so _vivid_ last night. We were happy because I was finally honest, telling him my true feelings and by some miracle, he returned them. _That will be the coldest fucking day in hell. _

I groan recalling Emmett's complaints of talking in my sleep almost nightly. _Damnit! Shit! Motherfucking hell! _In desperation I switch my train of thought. _Maybe he was asleep and didn't hear me. God I hope so. _This is so not good. God, please tell me he didn't hear anything! It will be so painfully fucking awkward being shut in with him if he has any idea we were cuddled up together; let alone if I fantasized about him in my sleep.

I'm nearly working myself up into a panic as I work on making our breakfast and don't hear when Jasper comes into the kitchen.

"Edward, is something burning?"

"Fuck!" I yelp in surprise, moving the skillet off of the fire only to burn my finger in the process.

"Shit, are you ok?" Jasper asks, quickly coming over to me and taking my hand to inspect it. "Come on, we need some vinegar," he says, pulling me to the pantry. The moment it touches my sore skin, the pain is gone. "Well, whatever you were making smelled really appealing until it started burnin'. What's for breakfast?"

"Pancakes," I smile.

He looks at my finger and says, "It should be fine, but I'll finish the pancakes."

"Thanks, Jasper."

I sit at the table and watch as he discards the burnt pancake and begins to cook another. He doesn't seem uncomfortable or anything like I had expected. Maybe he didn't hear anything last night. _Please God, please. _And I really hope this means he never knew that we were wrapped around each other all night either.

Actually, he seems more relaxed, lighter even this morning than he did all day yesterday. He even seems happier. Hopefully, getting the opportunity to grow closer has partially improved his mood.

We spend breakfast discussing what else in the cabin may need to be checked against the weather and any other chores that need to be done. After finishing up the chores and another lunch of Campbell's finest, we decided to continue updating Jasper on recent movies. The afternoon starts much like the previous one on the couch, under several blankets. However, midway through the second movie, I realized that Jasper has slowly inched closer and closer to me. _He must not realize how cold he really is. _

"Would you like another blanket, Jasper?" I ask, standing up, and his body suddenly tenses when he realizes how close he's gotten to me but he relaxes nearly as quickly.

"Um, okay, thanks." He replies, biting his lip nervously. _Fuck me, that lip. What I wouldn't give to have it wrapped around m-_

"Could you grab the one off my bed?" he continues, ripping me from my daydream. As I make my way down the hall, I try to figure out what would make him uneasy. It's almost as if there is a pink elephant in the room. _No matter how open and supportive they may be, all hetero men have at least a touch of a phobia. _I'm sure that's why he flinched. He's used to spending the majority of his time around_ manly_ soldiers. Not his cousin's homo best friend. I'm sure he was just startled. _Yeah, okay. _I roll my eyes walking back to the den.

Once we settle back into the movie, a safe distance away from each other (although, I'm sure his reason is _far_ different from mine), the afternoon passes without anymore incident. _Good grief, as much as I love spending so much time in his presence, if this is all we do for the remainder of our captivity, I might just go mad. _However, after another hour, I notice that he has slowly gotten more and more uptight. This really worries me because Jasper is never nervous. About anything, ever.

Once the credits begin rolling, I press mute, preparing to just bite the bullet and ask what the fuck is bothering him when he takes all of the air from my lungs.

"Edward, are we going to talk about what happened last night?"

All time seems to stop as the earth shifts its axis bass-ackwards. All I can do is stare at him. I attempt to say something, _anything _in response but my brain can only manage a stutter. The anxiety in his body language appears to increase exponentially every moment I continue to mindfuck myself into oblivion.

"Please, Edward," he continues with a tearful sob, "please say something."

"I don't… I don't understand." I'm finally able to choke in a whisper.

"I've wanted to tell y'all for so long. It's just… I always knew my future in the military wouldn't allow and I was a coward to not trust y'all with this a long time ago." He rushes out in one long breath.

"Wait, that _wasn't _a dream?" I ask as reality starts to seep through my consciousness.

He bites his lower lip nervously. "A dream? No, it wasn't a dream, unless we had the same one. I distinctly remember my lips finally wrapped around your mouthwatering cock."

_Oh my fucking God. Thank you! Whoever you are thank you! Whoa, Cullen back up…Jasper's gay? He wants me? What the fuck? _Trying to say something, _anything_ I stammer, "How long?" He looks at me with sad, confused eyes and I continue, "How long have you been hiding?"

His shoulders droop with a sigh, he murmurs "Just before my parents died."

_The entire time we've know each other!_ "I'm sorry, Jasper, I'm having a difficult time comprehending this." I admit in a gentle voice. "I can distinctly remember you with girls in school. Did you have so little faith in all of us, your family, friends, that you felt the need to use those girls to lie to us?" I can feel my frustration slowly building towards anger until I look back up to his face only to see his lip quivering as tears steadily stream down his face. I instantly wish I could take every word back as all of my contempt immediately disappears. "Fuck, Jas," I rush out, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, it's okay," he interrupts. "I understand. You just found out a close friend has been lying to you for years," he murmurs, looking defeated. _Hell, if he only knew._

With a sigh, I move closer to him arguing, "No, it's not okay. I had no right to get angry, if anyone should be sympathetic, it's me."

Sniffling, he looks back at me with a bit of renewed hope in his eyes. _Oh, Jasper. What I'm I going to do about you?_ I have to know. I _need_ to know what all of this will mean. Add the fact that he went down on me in the middle of the night only for me to believe I was dreaming confounds me even more. But I'm trying with everything I have to suppress any hope I may have of what this may mean for _me. _He's closeted himself, in the fucking military no less; for years so he's probably as fucked up as I was years ago in high school. It's going to kill me to not let my feelings for him influence me into unknowingly taking advantage of his vulnerability and confusion.

"I never used any of those girls," he mumbles quietly, drawing me back to the conversation.

"Oh, Jas, I know you wouldn't do that," I sigh. "It was wrong of me to imply. But," I continue, placing my hand on his shoulder, in hopes of comforting him, "I would like to understand."

"You know," he smiles sadly, "I was always kind of a flirt naturally growin' up; with everybody, before the military, anyway. And that's all that was back then; flirtin'. When I realized it helped the straight image, I probably over did it when a girl would give me any attention." He draws his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs, and whispers "I was so worried someone would figure me out; especially you."

I must have looked as confused as I felt because he continued, "I convinced myself that since you were gay too, that you would easily see through me." Then, so quietly that I can barely make out his words as he rests his forehead on his knees, he mutters, "It didn't help that I was attracted to you."

_Shit, did he really just say that? _Before he can see the pure elation that I'm sure is clear on my face, I bring my thoughts to what really matters. He needs a friend right now. "Is that why there was always a little distance between us?"

Bringing his still shining eyes back to mine and bighting that damn lip again, he asks, "You noticed that, huh?"

With a shrug, I answer, "It took a while, but yeah. I always figured you were a little homophobic."

"I guess you could call it somethin' like that." he replies with a small chuckle. "It was more like I was just scared shitless that the only other homo around would call my bullshit." With that, we both busted up laughing, thankfully easing the somber mood.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Just Leah," he sighs, "but only for a couple of weeks. I was planning on tellin' everyone on this trip," he explains, rolling his eyes. "I was drivin' myself nuts; worrin' over it. The day after I got home, she caught me pacin' a trench in the floor. I guess I was mutterin' aloud to myself because she called me on it. She said, _'You know, you can tell me anything, Jas, and I'll always be here for you.'_ I was so fuckin' worked up that I just spilled everything."

"I'm sorry you felt you needed to hide this from all of us; especially me," I tell him and I realize that at some point, I began lightly running my hand up and down his back. _What I wouldn't give to have been showing this type of affection under better circumstances. _

In a pained whisper, he replies, "I know," as another tear slides down his cheek.

That did me in and I wrapped my arm around him murmuring, "I would have done anything I could then to help you through this and I'll do it now." Holding onto him as sobs rack his body, I continue, "We'll get you through this, Jasper. I'll be right beside you when you tell the others. I'll even hold Alice off when you have to run from her after she realizes she wasn't the first to know." I smile, getting the small laugh I was hoping for. Attempting to further ease his dread, I joke, "Everything will be fine. Look at it this way, Leah and I were the trial runs. When it's your turn, my mother will be excited to have someone she can set up and Alice will throw you a fucking party."

"Jesus, Edward!" he laughs. "You have to promise me! If she even mentions the P-word, to get me the hell out of Washington!"

Luckily, that seems to do the trick and once we recover from laughing so much, we just relax during dinner. Afterward, he tells me more about figuring himself out. Apparently, he had been struggling with himself for nearly a year and the day he had planned on telling his parents was the day _after _they died.

He intended to tell them after dinner one Sunday. The day before, his parents were on their way to the grocery store when they got into the accident. "They told me that my Dad died at the scene but my mom only survived for a few hours at the hospital. When my neighbor took me to the hospital, she was unconscious." Closing his eyes, he sighs, "I held her hand and told her. I asked that she still love me and not be disappointed. Then I told her that I would keep doin' JROTC for Daddy and that I hoped he'd be proud of me for promisin' to enlist like he did." After a few moments of silence, he said "I just kept talkin' to her about anything and everything, holding her hand and running my fingers through her blood stained hair. I had an hour with her before she died with my head on her shoulder."

"Jasper, I don't see how they couldn't be proud of you," I encouraged softly. "You've grown to be a wonderful man that was brave enough to serve his country and had the strength to do it while protecting who you are at the same time."

"Do you really think so?" he asks uncertain but with hope shining in his deep navy blue eyes.

"I'm sure of it, Jas," I reply with as much conviction in my voice as possible. Hoping that my question isn't too personal but not being able to help myself, I ask, "Did you join the Army for your dad?"

He tilts his head in thought for a moment before answering, "Partially. I hadn't planned to do it to prove anything or because I thought it was expected of me. Growin' up, I always looked up to my father and I was so proud that my dad was a Sergeant Major. What little boy doesn't want to emulate their father?" he asked with a smile. "I always knew that the career path wasn't for me and after they died, I still wanted to honor his memory. Luckily, I enjoyed JROTC already and had an aptitude for it too."

"But what about…" I trail off, hesitant to come of insensitive.

"Being gay?" he supplies. When I nod, he continues, "I knew I'd have to hide it from everyone but my parents before I came out. So even with their death, that didn't change. But when I moved up here, I was just so scared. I didn't know anyone. Riley and I weren't really close, havin' grown up so far away and I couldn't bring myself to trust anyone with that part of myself." Frowning, he added, "Once I was comfortable enough around y'all, it was only about a year before I was gonna leave anyway." finishing with a small shrug.

"Okay, Jasper, this is kinda off subject, but I have to ask, how does dating work out when, to the military, your sexuality doesn't exist?" I enquire nervously, praying he doesn't freak out. But to my amusement, he simply looks down with the most adorable blush I've ever seen. _Damnit, what this man does to me. _

I'm fighting off a low groan when he timidly replies, "_Datin'_ didn't happen. We all just kind of knew how to recognize one another and it was rare that I ever hooked up with anyone. I didn't care to. After a handful of occasions," he shrugged, "I realized that that just wasn't for me."

I have to be sure I'm hearing him correctly because there is no possible way that this beautiful specimen before me is _that_ inexperienced. "Jas, if this is too personal, please don't feel like you need to answer but," I pause, trying to phrase this as delicately as possible, "how many guys have you been with?"

He looks startled for a moment before continuing with a resigned nod, "Well, to be honest, its kinda embarrassin'," ducking his head, he bites his lip blushing before finishing in a rush, "I've fooled around with five or six and only had sex with four. It can be pretty lonesome for a soldier who wants more than casual action."

I never thought that he could be even more sexy but his nearly intact sexual innocence makes me want him all the more. _Oh, what I would do to you, Jas. _God, what I wouldn't give for him to be mine; to not just be a friend with benefits like last night turned out to be.

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about, Jasper." Deciding to just go for it, I blush, "Frankly, it's pretty fucking sexy."

_I swear to Christ, if he doesn't stop blushing or biting that lip, I'm not gonna be accountable for my actions. _In attempts to maintain my control, I suggest that we watch one more movie before bed since it's gotten so late.

Thankfully, now that the air is cleared, the movie is funny and relaxing. _It's not totally clear you asshat! You need to tell him!_ _He came clean, you should too. _Like fuck I am. At least not anytime soon.

Luckily, Jasper interrupts my inner argument saying, "I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed." Fuck. Jasper. Shower. Instant semi.

Stifling a whimper, I manage to croak out a "Good night, Jasper."

Just before he makes it to the hallway, he turns around and with a small smile, he says "Thanks, Edward."

I can't help the crooked grin from spreading across my face and reply, "You're very welcome, Jasper."

When I can hear the shower start, I go to the piano. Not surprisingly, I just have to play _his_ song. But the more I play it tonight, I notice that it has slightly changed it again. Not quite so dreary or hopeless. It even sounds a little lighter. I'm sure anyone but me probably wouldn't pick up on the extremely subtle changes in the piece. I get lost in the music, thinking back on the revelations of the day. _Maybe one day, we might actually try it_. Don't get ahead of yourself, he just came out to you! Even if there was a small possibility of an 'us', it'll probably be ages from now. We just need to get him through this trip and telling everyone else. We'll think about 'us' much later.

When I realize I've been playing for nearly an hour, I finish up at the piano. After checking the fire and shutting off the lights, I go into the bathroom but barely have enough energy to change for bed. _Thank fuck that space heater's been on for a while_. My mind still whirling around Jasper and what all this may mean between us, I reluctantly open the door to the bedroom.

All my reservations are tossed out the window the moment I see him lying in my bed extending his hand in invitation. The shy smile lighting up his eyes erases all of my qualms for tonight. _Fuck it. _I can't contain the enormous grin creeping across my face as I take his hand to slide in bed next to him.

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**Would y'all believe that that lemon was the first thing in this fic I wrote? Then I just had to figure out a story to go with it lol.**

**Rec: If you smut mutts haven't checked out ****Raw and Rosy ****by tuesdaymidnight, go do it. Right NOW! Super hot fic with a bit of angst thrown in. **


	4. Hands and Feet

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is my pick up and ole girl is on her last leg. SM owns these hotties but I drive 'em where I want.**

**WARNING: This is a SLASH story which includes dudes kissin/lickin/humpin other dudes! If you didn't know that **_**Saved By the Bell: The New Class **_**wasn't the original, go find a cute little cannon fic with a T rating and take the haters with ya!**

**A/N: Sorry this shortie took so long, but seriously y'all would have disowned me if I didn't give my fuckawesome beta, arianawhitlock a chance to perform some reconstructive surgery. Really. But don't tell her I fucked with her ass lift when she was done. Just go read/review her stories, they are brilliant! A word to the wise tho… start with **_**Trusting Love**_**. That's all I'm sayin. **

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**Hands and Feet**

**JPOV**

I couldn't help but give a small chuckle at Edward's enthusiasm as he jumps into bed with me, wearin' a wide spread grin. He joins me in my laughter for a moment but soon our chuckles die down and we just lay facin' each other. My breathing falters as he slowly raises his hand to my face, lightly tracing his fingertips over my scare. I close my eyes as my mind races to not so pleasant thoughts.

"Did it hurt?" he whispers.

"A lot." I sigh leaning my cheek into his hand.

"You don't have to talk about it."

"I'd rather talk about what your 'dream' meant for us" I smile when he blushes. "I'm sorry I basically raped your dick with my mouth last night. It's just you were talking in your sleep and—" I bite my lower lip when he groans and hides his face in my chest.

"I was afraid of that." he mutters. "I have always talked in my sleep and was worried that I'd said something embarrassing when I remembered my 'dream' this morning."

Then in a pained murmur, so soft, I needed to lean in closer, I can barely hear, "Last night was…" he cuts off.

"Yeah, I'd like to see where this could go." I smile shyly, "If you want to, but you just ended something and I don't want to push too far too fast."

"Okay, so let's take it slow." he agrees. Then, blushing, he asks, "Is this too fast for slow?" he whispers leaning up to kiss the scar by my ear and then across my face to the one under my eye. I move to kiss his lips and he surprises me by reaching to grip my short hair. With a mumbled "Mmm, Jasper," he quickly takes over, plunging his tongue into my mouth.

We're a heap of tangled limbs when he rolls on top of me. His hands are everywhere at once. "Touch me Jasper." He whispers, lickin' my earlobe. _Shit, him tellin' me what to do is so fuckin' sexy. _

I slide my hands under his shirt and he shudders at the feel of my blunt nails raking up his back, taking his shirt with me. He impatiently yanks mine off and starts to lick my naked skin, suddenly he lightly bites down on my nipple and I shout, "Christ!"

When I lick across his neck, to his Adam's apple, I nip at it gently causin' Edward to shift positions, forcing our growing cocks to collide. I can't help the moan that escapes me when he begins to rock his hips against mine, feelin' him hardening against me. "Fuck, Edward! Don't stop!" I pant, clutching his ass to grind him harder against me. _Fuck me, I thought last night was hot, him bein' lucid is __**so**__ much better!_ With a growl, he claims my mouth once again and begins writhing even faster and harder against me.

Edward stroking his cock against mine, with only a couple layers of thin cotton between us is the hottest experience of my life. But then he grunts, "Take off your pants." _Oh, God._ We both frantically work to remove the rest of our clothes, panting and lickin' and kissing the entire time.

I'm finally able to slide his all the way off with my feet and he settles himself between my legs, sliding his hard dick against mine. "Damnit, Edward, you feel so fuckin' good." I groan.

When I begin to lick and suck the sweat gathered on his shoulder, he whimpers, "God, Jas… so close." I'm matching every one of his increasingly frantic thrusts and when he whispers, "Cum for me, Jasper," I begin to shudder beneath him.

"Edward!" I gasp, clamping my teeth down on his shoulder, causing him to cum, his cock pulsing against mine in long, thick streams across our chests.

We are both laying there breathless, placing random kisses on each other until Edward leans down to lick a small trail of my cum next to my nipple. _Fuck, he's gonna get me hard again. _But then whispers "Shower with me?"

When he lifts himself up, he takes my hand and he pulls me out of bed, leading me into the bathroom. After starting the water, I pull him into the hot water. We share a quiet, intimate shower, washin' ourselves off of each other and kissin' occasionally on whatever part is close, too soon when the water begins to chill and we get out to dry one another off.

Gettin' dressed, he looks over to me nervously, "Keep me warm tonight?"

"Of course, babe." I smile.

Getting' into bed, he rolls over to face me. "God, we've been stupid." he says with a sad chuckle. "We could have been together a long time ago."

"Not really, you'd of had to stay in the closet with me. Even then, I wouldn't have wanted to put you through so many long deployments."

"You're wrong, Jasper." he implores, "We'd never have needed to hide at home and with our family and friends. But that was then. No more hiding." Reaching for my hand, he smiles sadly, "And you're wrong about the deployments. You're worth waiting for. Think of it this way, I've waited years on something I thought I'd never even have a chance at."

"Really?" I smile as I bite my lower lip. _We've waited for each other?_

"Really." He smiles pressing his lips to my neck and pulling me into him. "Sweet dreams beautiful."

* * *

Wakin' up to Edward's morin' breath in my face probably made me the happiest son of a bitch on the planet. And needin' to get up to piss made me the crankiest because it means I need to unwrap myself from his warmth. When I come back, Edward has taken hold of my pillow, clutchin' it tightly to his chest and burring his face in it.

Sliding back into bed, I remove the pillow whispering, "Edward, hon', wake up," as I run my fingers through his hair.

He groans, rollin' over and pulling me tightly to him. "Five more minutes," he mumbles into my chest. _Or forever._ I think pulling him to me chuckling as I continue to play with his hair. When I lean down to kiss his forehead, I can feel his smile.

"What time is it?"

"We were up kinda late last night. It's just after ten." I reply. "C'mon, let's figure out brunch." After getting' dressed, we did just that.

Edward managed to make pancakes again but this time he diced a can of peaches to go in them. Instead of continuing the movie marathon after breakfast, we go in search of what else there may be in that could keep us entertained. "Jasper, why don't you check the utility room while I dig through the hall closet?"

I smile to myself remembering a box I thought I saw the other day. After a few minutes of diggin', I walk back into the den, with it behind my back.

"Jasper, I found a deck of cards. Did you have any better luck?" Edward calls.

"You could say that." I call back and give an evil grin when he walks up to me confused.

"What?" he asks warily.

"Twister." I smile showing him the box and become instantly hard when he groans. _Fuck yeah._

We quickly pull the mat and spinner out of the box and lay it down on the floor. On our sixth spin, he calls, "Left foot, Blue." I manage to make it but Edward has to reach his leg across mine and falls right on top of me. "You win." He says, breathless from the fall, and leans down to kiss me.

We roll around on the twister mat, making out like kids for a while until I break away from his mouth to pant, "Couch." When he jumps up, he offers me his hand to pull me from the floor and begins backin' up to the couch, bringing me with him and somehow managin' to keep his lips locked to mine. When his legs press against the couch, he stops to stretch out against the back of the couch and pulls me down next to him.

Our kisses become more frantic and desperate when we pull off each others' shirts. Scrapin' his teeth down my neck, he moans "Damn, I want to feel you. Let me touch you, Jas."

I whimper, "What happened to goin' slow?"

"I'm not going to fuck you yet." he growls, shovin' my zipper down. "Just jack you off." he purrs, wrapping his hand around my stiff cock.

"Oh, fuck!" I moan as he slowly starts pumping his hand around me.

When he brings his lips back to mine, I reach down to free his straining member. With a growl, he thrust into my hand. "God, Jas!" I match the pace of my hand with his, gatherin' the precum from his weeping slit with my thumb and giving a small twist at the head at every other thrust.

I'm so damn close but I suddenly hear a high pitched scream. "Oh, God! My eyes!" _Emmett. Fuck! _We both freeze, still wrapped around each other.

Just as I begin to panic, Edward drops his head into the crook of my neck and whispers, "Shh, babe, it'll be ok." He clears his throat, "Um, guys, a moment please?"

"Don't you two go anywhere," Alice chirps, "I think we have a few things to discuss."

_Here we go._

_

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_

**Rec: for all you slash lovers out there that might like something a little different, cbaty has a new one called _Highland Dreams_ that is unlike anything I've ever come across… and has Edward in a KILT! Mmmm**

**Rec 2: for something COMPLETELY different, if you like True Blood/SVM novels, ericizmine has several fics right now that completely own me… (no, they aren't slash, and for that series, they're cannon). I just love 'em!**


	5. Take Me Higher

**Ariana: **Why the FUCK did this take so damn long?

**Chlo: **Stop playing with Master Alec and write your own damn story!

**Ariana:** Master Alec said he wants to know what happens in those mountains!

**Master Alec**: Ariana! I can speak for myself.

**Ariana**: Yes, Master. *bowes head*

**Master Alec**: Chlo, you are going to be punished for taking so long to post.*smaks Chlo's ass with a paddle* And don't forget to announce the Contest and Interviews at the end.

**Chlo**: *bows head* Yes, Master.

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**Side note: Beta'd by the fuckawesome ****arianawhitlock****! If you haven't read her stories, you are REALLY missing out!**

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**Take Me Higher**

**EDWARD**

"Right, apparently you two are creating your own heat." Riley mutters holding up the necessary electrical wires. "Um, yeah let's go fix that while they um, cover up."

Leah starts laughing as she drags Ali out of the room allowing us some needed alone time to redress. But that has to wait because Jasper is on the verge of a panic attack in my arms. Trying to calm him, I nuzzle his neck and whisper assurances to him and he slowly responds by relaxing his death grip and returning to normal breathing intervals.

His voice is slightly trembling, he murmurs, "Looks like I finally came out."

"I'm so sorry, Jasper. This is all my fault. I should have known something like this would happen. I'm going to fucking kill Emmett! If one of them had just fucking called—"

He puts a stop to my rant with a soft kiss. _Shit, I'm supposed to be calming him down not the other way around._ "It's okay, Hon'. I couldn't figure out how to start the whole 'I'm gay' conversation and as embarrassin' as this is, now all I need to do is explain." he smiles, moving to right his clothes. I follow his lead and when we go to put our dicks away, we both let out a pained groan. _Motherfucking blue balls_.

Once Jasper is off the couch, he immediately begins to pace. I simply grab his hand, pulling him down to sit next to me and wrap my arm around his shoulders. "We talked about this, baby," I whisper in his ear, "it will be fine."

We don't wait much longer before everyone comes back into the den. Leah has a small smile on her face, Emmett looks confused, Alice is pouting with her arms across her chest and tapping her toe, and Riley looks like he's up to something. _Uh oh._ "Damn Edward, I know he must seem like a hot piece of ass to you, but seriously! I leave my cousin alone with you for only two days and you manage to turn him gay. I didn't realize you were that irresistible." The words are barely out of his mouth before he yelps, "Ouch! What the fuck, Alice I was just joking," Riley whines rubbing his arm where she pinched him.

Thankfully, their little display manages to ease the tension and, more importantly, Jasper's nerves; he even he chuckles along with everyone's laughter. The light air doesn't last long when everyone comes to settle into the other seats, all looking at Jasper expectantly. "Right," he sighs, "So I'm gay."

"It all makes sense now," Alice mutters to herself. Then looking back to Jas, "That's why you would never date my friend Angela when I kept trying to set you up."

"We understand why you kept it from us, Jas." Emmett shrugs. "But the real question is: what's going on between the two of you?" he frowns, glaring at me and tapping his ring finger. I get the message and just subtlety shake my head. Jasper doesn't seem to notice and answers

"I thought that would be obvious," Jasper answered before I could come up with a response.

"Edward, are you forgetting someone?" Riley inquires looking between me and Emmett, apparently he's more observant. "Umm, Jared sound familiar? You know, the guy you live with."

Jasper's hand clenches in mine and he responds before I can, "Jared is a prick and has nothing to do with this." _Fuck me, he sexy when he's jealous._

I frown as I squeeze Jasper's hand reassuringly and turn to Riley, "I was going to tell you guys but the weather postponed it." I frown taking a deep breath, "I ended things with Jared three weeks ago. We didn't move in together because he decided that a monogamous relationship wasn't what he wanted."

The group is stunned silent for a moment as I look down and study Jasper's hand, trying to keep the hurt off my face as I explain what happened in the club.

"That bastard!" Emmett and Alice snarl at the same time. Wow, I've never seen her look so scary. Leah looks at them with wide eyes for a moment and the busts up laughing at Emmett and Alice. Jasper is looking at Alice with terror written on his face.

Obviously trying to deflect the foul mood, Leah arches her eyebrow, smiling, "Oh come Jas, you've been to war! Alice is not all that scary!" she laughs and then clears her throat, "So when exactly did this happen?" she asks pointing her finger between Jasper and me.

Jasper clears his throat blushing, "Uh, just last night, but it's been a mutual attraction for some time apparently." He shifts his eyes to me nervously, silently asking that we keep my 'dream' between us. I couldn't agree more so I simply wink at him.

It's obvious to everyone that Alice is dying from curiosity so Jasper sighs, "Just ask Ali."

"Did anyone else know? How long have you kept this to yourself Jas? Why didn't you ever tell me?" Alice rushes without a breath but before she can work herself up into a complete tizzy, Riley just puts his hand over her mouth and looks at Jasper expectantly. Jasper just smiles and answers those and the rest of Alice's questions patiently.

After all the machine gun of questions is finished, Leah glances at the clock, and gasps, "Guys, it's already after one. If we want to take advantage of the fresh snow, we should get going. The lifts stop running at five."

Grateful for the end of the interrogation, Jasper relaxes next to me and smiles, "I'm ready if y'all are." Before I get up to leave the room along with everyone else, he grabs my hand and bites his lower lip. _Fuck me. Pay attention Edward!_ "Edward, are you okay with them knowin' about us so soon? I mean, we are supposed to be taking this slow."

"I was more worried about you." I sigh. _Personally, I am elated. I'd tell the world you're mine if you were ready._ "They won't judge us Jasper, they're our family. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how supporting they actually are."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Can't go back now anyway, what's done is done." he shrugs. "You ready to fly down a mountain?"

* * *

Once we get our lift passes at the lodge, we all break up to go to our desired difficulty levels. Alice and Emmett head towards the black diamond, Riley and Leah choose to start with a blue slope to warm up, and I was inclined to join them but I wanted to ski with Jasper so I ask him which trail he's interested in.

"Umm…" he trails off, blushing. _Shit, not the blush. Fuck! He's talking again. Focus!_ "I was actually gonna go on a green slope." Then he just huffs, "I don't know how to ski, alright? I've only been once, years ago and wiped out my first try. I've never gotten a chance to come back."

_Damn, he's so fucking adorable. It's official Edward, you're a girl._ "That's nothing to be embarrassed about, Baby. I'll go with you on the green and once you get the hang of it we can take the next step." I assure him as an empty chair on the ski lift comes by and we jump on. The trail runs between the chairlifts and the tree line and there is less of a crowd near the trees so I guide him over there. Just before we get set to ski down the run, I turn back to him, "I'll follow your lead, we'll take it at your pace. I'll be right next to you the whole time."

"Thanks, Edward." he smiles. Then squaring his shoulders he nods, "Okay, let's go."

He's doing great and about a third of the way down, I look over to see pure elation on his face but as he starts to look over in my direction, we hear a loud bang from the lifts. Jasper's eyes widen and he throws himself to the ground stomach first. After a few tumbles he belly crawls to get behind some trees. Surprised, I pass him by and am forced to stop and detach my skis as I make a small climb back up. Once I finally make it to him, he is curled tightly in a ball on his side with his hands over his head, shivering in the snow.

"Jasper!" I cry the moment I spot him and hastily make my way to him, removing his skis. I realize he's talking but I can't understand what he's muttering to himself. Slowly I press my stomach into the snow and lay there facing him. Unsure what to do I remove my glove and slowly touch his cheek, which he flinches away from at first. Eventually though my touch seems to break him out of his head and back into his surroundings. When I'm sure he's seeing me I ask quietly, "Shit, are you okay?" he nods in response as I help him into a sitting position and pull him close to me.

Still trembling, he groans while hiding his face from me, "Yeah, fine. What the fuck happened?"

"I think one of the support cables on the lift snapped." I reply rubbing his back.

"God, I can't believe I freaked out like that." he moans, burying his head in my deeper in my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it." I assure him and wrap my other arm around him tightly, bringing him closer, "Are you sure you're alright?"

He just nods his head and looks up to me, "Yeah, I'm good, just an instinct reaction is all." He gripes. And then pushes away from me with a smile, "We're supposed to be havin' fun, so let's get our skis back on and conquer this mountain." I can tell he's still shaken so I kiss his forehead in attempts to calm him down with a diversion. He surprises me by crawling in my lap and wrapping his arms around my neck. Still shivering, he clings to me and I just continue to hold him and pepper his face with kisses. When I get to his lips though, he moans into my mouth and I reach to grasp the back of his neck, deepening the kiss. He starts grinding against my growing arousal. _Fuck we should stop._ I gasp when he takes my bottom lip in his teeth. I can feel him hardening against me more with every roll of his hips.

"Help me forget for a little while." he murmurs in my ear, frantic for distraction. I pull away for a moment and peer into his fear stricken, pleading eyes and against my better judgment I give in to his pleas and press his back to the adjacent tree. Swallowing his moans, I reach to rub his cock and –

"Hey you faggots! This is a family place. You need to get the hell off the resort NOW!" _Shit! Ski patrol_.

Jasper goes completely still in my arms. "It's okay." I whisper, ignoring the insulting words and turning my attention to the employee, "We apologize, ma'am. We got carried away." She just scowls, crossing her arms, obviously waiting for us to go. Normally I'd give my two cents but Jasper is turning paler by the second so I just move to set my feet in my skis, trying to avoid any more of a scene. "We're going." I snap, helping Jasper but she doesn't leave until we start to ski down again and I realize that she following us. _Damnit, she really is kicking us out._

When we get down to the bottom of the hill, I see Leah and Riley just making it to the bottom of their run so I flag them down. "Are Em and Alice down yet?"

"We saw them just a bit ago." Riley replies. "They shouldn't be much longer. Why?" He asks looking over my shoulder at what I'm sure to be a disgruntled ski patrol lady causing him to frown, "Is everything okay?"

"Not really." Jasper grumbles and I can tell he's pissed and embarrassed. "We'll explain on the way back to the cabin. But we need to get Ali and Emmett and go. _Now_."

Riley looks at him in concern and his eyes flicker back to the angry woman behind us. "Alright, how about we go get an early dinner, beat the rush."

On the drive into town to dinner, we explain that we got caught making out. "You mean to tell me that some bigot bitch was the reason my skiing got cut short?" Alice shrieks.

"I'm sorry Ali." Jasper frowns. "It's my fault for destroyin' everyone's fun."

"No, it's not." She and I both reply.

"If it were Riley and me," she continues, "we would have just been told to cool it and gotten a slap on the wrist."

He just shakes his head. He falls silent for a while and then looks at me with teary eyes "I'm sorry, Edward —"

Noticing that everyone else is preoccupied with their own conversations in the seats in front of us, I turn to him, "No, last I looked, we were both on that mountain. Maybe we should lay off on the public displays for a while; give you time to adjust to our friends. There are just some people who are always going to have a problem with this." I offer squeezing his hand in mine. "How are you Jas, really? You've never had to deal with something like that have you?"

He just shakes his head in response, clearing his throat, "I was just more startled than anything. I mean, in the military I had seen a few guys get hell for it, but that was different somehow; expected I guess." He squeezes my hand back with a small smile, and adds, "I'll be okay. It'll just take some gettin' used to, that's all. Maybe we can try the public scene again later."

I'm not sure I completely believe him but pulling up to the restaurant ends our conversation before I can make sure. Mainly due to Riley yanking me out of the truck and dragging me to the men's bathroom.

"He's my cousin!" Riley snaps the moment we are alone.

"You're point?" I ask defensively.

"Edward, he just got back from war. Are you sure starting something like this is a good idea? Have you noticed how freaked out he was with just some stupid bitch? I don't think you get it and I have to tell you this because keeping him away from you will probably prove more harm than good."

"What are you talking about? Tell me what?" I ask concerned.

"Edward, Jasper tried to re-up for a second term." Riley frowns. "He was denied because according to his return psych eval, he's showing signs of PTSD. He just started therapy for it." I just stare at him in shock. "That snap back there sounded a hell of a lot like gun fire Edward. That's when Jasper wiped out isn't it?"

I stare at him in for a moment letting it all sink in. _He's a soldier, can I deal with that if he leaves me again? And if he doesn't can I help him get past the fact his career is over? _"I won't hurt him Riley." I answer in a whisper. "I swear, all I want to do is help."

"Just keep some things to yourselves for a while." Riley sighs. "He just doesn't need any more negative attention."

"Alright." I assure him. We both wash our hands and then find our friends in a large booth. Jasper looks concerned as his eyes flicker between mine and Riley's but I take his hand under the table and squeeze it for reassurance as I try to absorb my talk with Riley and listen to the table conversation.

"So Alice, how are plans for the salon coming?" Emmett asks just as a waiter drops off the appetizers.

"They're were going fine." She replies in a pout, "I was hoping to open in about a month. That is if I can find a replacement, my business partner who backed out."

"Backed out? When?" Leah asks perking up.

"Three days ago." Alice huffs.

"You know, Ali," Leah smiles slyly, "I was thinking about quitting my job at the bank. If you're interested I'll be her replacement. And maybe we can open a boutique in the front after a few months."

"You would really leave the bank to help me out?" It's obvious that Alice is on the verge of actually jumping up and down, she is vibrating so much. "I thought you liked it there, that's why I never asked to start with."

"Sure," Leah grins, "it sounds like way more fun than my boring desk job. And I'd get the bonus of working with a crazy friend. We'll work the details out when we get back to Port Angeles."

The rest of the meal is filled with future plans and Jasper even shares that he's enrolling in college. Riley is happy about that obviously, explaining that the job market is hell right now anyway. We all end up eating, drinking, and laughing. Just being a group of good friends, like it should be.

Before long, dinner is over and we are headed back to the cabin. The ride is silent as we all digest our food and the desire for sleep comes drifting in our consciousnesses. But even through my, daze I can tell Jasper is still troubled and honestly so am I but I can't do anything about it in this moment except wrap my arm around him and gently pull him closer to me. He leans his head on my shoulder with a sigh and reaches for my free hand to lace our fingers together.

After we all finish storing our gear when we get back Alice walks into the den were we have all collected, pocketing her phone and says, "I just checked. The resort is closed for tomorrow to repair the lift and they were already going to be closed the next day for New Year's." she sighs throwing herself down next to Riley. "Sorry guys, but it looks like this was our only day for skiing."

No one seems to mind, especially after that ski patrol bitch and after a few moments of discussion we all decide to head home on New Year's Day. After this is decided we all start to stretch and head to bed, exhausted from skiing, well at least that's the excuse some of us use. Emmett looks dead on his feet while Alice is nearly dragging Riley to their room.

At some point during all of the 'goodnights', Jasper wondered off to our room. _Our room_. God, I love the sound of that. _Don't get ahead of yourself, Edward. You both agreed to take this slow. _I snort a small laugh to myself; _slow. _Even though he's right and I did just end things with Jared, I can't help but want to move things forward with Jasper; as soon as possible. Although if the rate of cock blocks just from today are any indication, I may never get to touch him. _Don't forget that he doesn't have that much experience. _Right. Who knows how long it's been since he's done _anything_. With my luck, today's events screwed with him enough that he wants to backtrack and is probably already asleep.

When I walk into the bedroom, Jasper is coming in from the bathroom in nothing but a towel. I swear I think I may have just swallowed my tongue. The only word I can use to describe him is _glorious_. I know I have seen him in various degrees of undress over the last couple of days and even shared a shower but at this moment, I don't know if he's ever looked more beautiful. His hair is still dripping trails of water down his neck and shoulders and every cell in my body is screaming to go to him and lick it off.

Once he gets over is short shock from my sudden appearance, he realizes my blatant ogling and blushes. _I swear if he bites his lip I'm toast._ No more have I thought about it and he bites that fucking lip. Faster than I thought myself possible, I am standing toe to toe with him and crashing my lips to his.

When he reaches up to clutch at my hair I groan into his mouth and slide my arm around him. It doesn't take long for him to begin pushing me back towards the bed, unbuttoning my pants to step out of in the few short steps. When I feel the mattress against my bare legs I fall back, pulling him on top of me. "You're wearin' too many clothes." He murmurs nipping my neck.

As much as I really fucking don't want to, I need to reel him back in before we go farther than were ready. I roll over him and straddle his hips. But he almost whines, "Please, let me suck you off."

I can see his eyes dilate when I take my shirt off. "Oh, no." I smile. "I've been dying to wrap my lips around your cock for years. It's my turn." He moans and his eyes roll back when I go to remove his towel. "Now, let me have my fun." I begin to lightly trail my fingertips over the planes of his magnificent torso and marvel at how his muscles flutter under my touch. I lean down to begin kissing and licking his neck and shoulders as he slides his hands up my thighs to grip my ass. But I remove his hands lacing our fingers together and pin them on either side of his head. "Not so fast, Jasper. I plan on taking my time with you."

He moans in response as I take my time with every inch of his skin, paying extra attention to his nipples, neck, and inner thighs but avoiding his leaking arousal. When I finally get where he wants my mouth most, he growls in frustration when I leave it after just a kiss to the base. I take him into my hand so I can lick the perspiration from his chest. I've spent so long working him up that he's already quivering beneath me. I want to give him so much more than the quick fixes he's gotten in the past.

Something tells me he's never experienced all that a mouth can offer. Distracting him with my hand, I wet my finger with my mouth. I'm finally were I've ached to be all day and dip my tongue in his weeping slit. Wrapping my lips around his throbbing head and swallowing around him, I begin to lightly trace my wet finger around his warm hole.

"Fuck!" He cries and I am able to relax my throat when he unexpectedly bucks his hips. I only bob my head a few times and lick once around his head before I release him from my mouth and hear his pained whimper.

"Don't worry, Babe, this isn't even close to being over." I murmur into his thigh before I lightly bite into the sensitive flesh between it and his sack. With my hand lazily stroking him, I spend a few moments sucking on his balls and gradually make my way down to where my finger has been petting.

With just one swipe of my tongue, I hear him gasp, "What the ..." And when I continue swirling around his entrance he lets out a deep, guttural groan, "Oh, God…"

Once he becomes more relaxed, I surprise him by plunging inside him. "God, Edward!" All of the moans and gasps coming from his mouth as I tongue fuck his ass are making me so fucking stiff that I have to reach to free myself from my briefs. Stroking my erection, I move my mouth back up to his and swirl my tongue around his glistening head. I can tell he won't last much longer so quickly slide my finger inside him and swallow him all the way down my throat at the same time.

The moment I begin to suck on his cock, he grips at my messy hair with one hand and when I look up at him, I see that he's twisting one of his nipples with the other. He's watching me through hooded eyes but the moment I curl my finger to rub against his p-spot, his eyes clench shut. "Fuck… gonna come, Hon'!" With only a few more taps of my finger and swallows around him, he releases in hot bursts down my throat. The look on his face as he cums is nearly my own undoing but I hold off and continue to lick him clean as he softens. I kiss up his body and settle half on the bed with my arm and leg draped across him as his breathing slows down.

He shocks me when he reaches down to once again to my leaking dick. "Jas," I moan.

"Edward, that was the best fuckin' head I've ever had." He gives me a long, deep kiss, stroking me. Then trailing his lips up to my ear, I can hear the smile in his whisper, "Now, will you please fuck my mouth?" _Oh. My. God._ Not only is he asking to go down on me again but for me to let go completely. Before I can respond, he's rolled on top of me and his mouth is hovering above me.

He wastes no time in taking me into his mouth. _Fuck he feels so much better fully conscious._ He continues to get me close only to repeatedly slow down. "You know what I want, Edward," he murmurs. I can't take it anymore so I do as he asks. I quickly pull him up to roll him on his back. He props his head up and gives me a smile, waiting. _I can't believe I'm actually doing this. That he wants me to do this!_ I hover over him for a moment and he impatiently takes my hands to place on his head and places his on my ass to bring me closer.

Sliding into his warm mouth feels so fucking good but then he starts encouraging my movements with his hands. I give in and let go. Just enjoying the feel of thrusting in and out of his hot mouth. When I manage to look down, he's watching me intently and then moans around me. With that along with the feeling of his tongue swirling around me is enough to end me. "So close, Baby." I clench my teeth with a growl as I cum down his throat.

I collapse back into his lap and he pulls me close, running his fingers through my hair as I come down from my high. Still panting, I chuckle, "Jas, that was amazing."

"Mmm," he hums, "I' glad you enjoyed yourself. I've had a pretty wonderful night myself." We both laugh quietly and he pulls the blankets up over us and I settle into his side with my head on his chest. He yawns, wrapping his arms around me as I do the same and just as I'm about to tell him 'good night', I hear a soft snore and have to stop myself at laughing at how cute he is. _Cute? _Yes, cute. Get over it.

I can't keep the smile off of my face though. Logically, I know it's too fast to feel this way but I've wanted Jasper for years. I really do think I'm falling for him. I just don't know where he is emotionally. This is all so fast and he's going through so many things. I'll have to ask him about re-enlisting. I wonder why he didn't mention it. I hope he didn't feel ashamed for being denied. I'll just do my best to help him through everything.

I'm so relaxed in his arms I'm not able to keep my eyes open much longer. I lean over to turn the lamp off, kissing his cheek softly. I'll just have to ask him about it tomorrow.

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**ANOUNCEMENTS!**

**1.** I was interviewed on a BLOGlast week for this fic! I put the link to it on my profile. Go check it out, she' interviewed a bunch of great SLASH authors!

**2. **I'm being ROASTED on a new forum on THIS Thursday at 8:30 pm CST by **The Roaster**. If you have any questions for me or my characters, PM her. Also, if you are a slash author and would like to be roasted too, let them know.

**3.** CONEST! My community is taking entries! **Smokin' Hot Edward Slash 2010 AWARD up for grabs! **We are looking for one-shots with Edward/Jasper that include **SLASH & HUMOR**! Min. 7,000. Sp/Grammar considered. **PM us to enter!** Top 3 will be added to our community. All entries must be in by Nov 15th. Results will be posted by Dec.31st. **All authors must be 18+yrs no exceptions.**


	6. Frightful

**Excuses are like assholes… **so I won't subject you to mine. We all know how crazy life gets this time of year so I hope you all understand my unexpected absence. A small portion of my mini-hiatus was to write a ONE-SHOT for my beta's b-day. Go check it out!

I decided that you wonderful, loyal lovelies waited FAR too long so I broke this chap in 2 to give you what I had so far. I _PROMISE_ I **WILL NOT **abandon this story! I love these characters and all of you too much for that! And I love my super-awesome beta, **arianawhitlock**! The little gem at the beginning was ALL HER!

**Disclaimer: do I really need to go there?**

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**Frightful**

**Emmett's POV**

Oh the weather outside is frightful. Wait no that's the snowman. What the hell? Oh, I am so going to get blamed for this and for once I'm innocent! How the hell could anyone do this to a fucking snow man! It's a kid's glory of winter for Santa's sake! Who is the sick fuck to put a dick on it? Wait, is that a cucumber? It is! And it's fucking yanking one out! Seriously, who the hell has this warped sense of humor? Wow wait is that toe curling? Oh my fucking God it IS! And the pinecones for nuts! Who the hell would do that? God could you imagine rubbing against that. Fuck no. And those fucking lips; shaped into an "Oh" with its eyes under the hat! And the fucking pine needles scattered just right! Okay who the hell is this sick fuck? I need to get out of here before I get blamed for this! Happy fucking New Year, sick fucking pervert!

**Edward's POV**

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK…."Boys!" KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.."Boys!"…._

Being rudely awakened from my dreams of Jasper is not my idea of starting the day off well. Hoping they'll give up and leave, I snuggle closer into Jasper's side but the pounding on the door just won't stop. I have no idea how he's able to remain asleep with all of that noise. _I wonder what else he had to get used to sleeping through._

I quickly slide out of bed, ensuring Jasper is covered and grab my sweatpants on my way to the door. The moment I open it, I can tell Alice is about to go into her spiel so I cover her mouth with my hand. "Alice," I admonish in a whisper, "what the fuck could possibly be so urgent? Jasper is still sleeping."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes at her cheshire grin. "I was just letting you boys know that you'll need to bundle up for today. All the snow damaged a lot of the trees. We need to get to some of the broken ones out of the path before another storm hits and we can't see them; getting us stuck up here. Oh, and breakfast is almost done."

"Thanks, Ali." I smile, pushing her back out the door.

Once I'm sure the door is locked, I turn my attention back to the man in my bed. Most of the tension that was evident in his sleep is gone. Replaced with the peacefulness he held before the service. Fuck the service…he wants to go back. God, I can't lose him to the Army again. Things are finally the way they are meant to be. I love him too much to let him go without a fight. _Love. Yep, there's no denying it. He's it for me._ This is still so surreal to me. I had given up any shred of hope that he'd ever be mine.

"Are you gonna keep starin' or are you comin' back to bed?" his muttered question pulls me from my thoughts and I can see the hint of a smirk he's trying to hide.

"How long have you been awake?" I ask smiling

He pulls down the quilt for me to crawl back into bed and brings me close for a quick kiss. "Since you left the bed," he whispers.

"We should get up."

He groans, tightening his arms around me and buries his face into my neck. "Five more minutes." _So fucking adorable._

After a few moments of silence, my fears get the best of me and I blurt out, "Why didn't you tell me you tried to re-enlist?"

He sighs heavily, "So Riley told you, huh?"

I simply nod and when he doesn't continue after a moment, I begin running my fingers through his short waves. Eventually, he relaxes and quietly whispers, "Because they didn't take me back."

"Talk to me Jasper. Please?" I beg kissing his head.

He still has his face against my neck and I can feel his lips brush my skin as he shrugs and says, "I had all of the forms signed and even my bags packed to transfer bases when they realized that I hadn't had my return psych evaluation done yet."

"And the results held you back?" I ask anxiously.

He sighs deeply again, "Acute post-traumatic stress disorder." He finally turns his head to look at me and the defeat in his eyes speaks volumes. "They put my assignment on hold until I completed counseling."

I kiss his forehead and ask, "How long is the therapy supposed to last?" _Forever._

He lets out a humorless laugh, "Until the doc says I'm done. The conditions are that if I complete treatment and the psychologist approves my contract renewal, the Army will take me if I still choose to go."

_Choose to go. _He may not have to leave after all. _Thank you._ "So does that mean that if you finish it in three months, you can still change your mind and stay home?"

He frowns. "I could quit therapy next week if I wanted but I wouldn't get to re-up." He nods, "But, yeah. My contract was never completed so I'm under no obligation."

"What do you _want_to do, Jas?"_ God, please tell me that he chooses to stay._

He closes his eyes in response. "I was so sure that I wanted to stay in the Army. I even have an appointment set next week with a military approved doctor that specializes in soldiers." My gut twists in the silence that follows and after a short pause, a small smile creeps onto his face. "But then I started to look into school and spendin' so much time with everyone after so long… I didn't realize how much I had missed everyone." Suddenly he blushes and looks down. "Then there's you. I don't wanna get ahead of myself or get my hopes up but I really do want to see where this goes."

Not able to contain my relief any longer, I pull him up to rest on top of me. Placing my palms to his cheeks, I gently bring him in for a soft, passionate kiss trying to convey just how badly I want to keep him here with me; how much I love him.

His naked chest is pressed against mine and he relaxes his legs between mine, wrapping his arms around my neck. We lose track of time holding one another, pouring everything into ardent kisses and caresses. I pull him impossibly closer and move to whisper in his ear. "Please don't take this the wrong way, Jasper," I whisper, "but I'm so happy that your contract got put on hold."

He lays his head down beneath my chin and I can feel his small smile against my neck. "No, it's okay. I was angry about it for a while," he shrugs, "but I'm happy about it now, too." A moment later he continues, "I'm still gonna give counselin' a try but I'm not necessarily set on going back anymore."

"EMMETT!" Riley screams

"I swear to God it wasn't me!"

We both start busting up laughing as we rush out of bed to see what the hell Emmett did this time.

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**Rec: **_When the Night Comes _by **Drizl **is an uber-angsty 'page' turner! Full of heartache and I am completely addicted! And for something completelydifferent, my friend **jacksonmccoy **has a Jasper/Jacob fic that is tuning out to be quite an amazing story called _Too Close. _Just tell him ChloBoLow sent ya!


	7. Since Thoughts of Thee Doth Banish Grief

***peeks out from behind laptop* **

**You guys still there? Sorry. Really. Real Life blows; that's all I'm saying. Every time I got in the mood to write, something would come up. Like work. Ugh. **

**Can I just move in here on fanfic with y'all?**

**Jasper: I would offer, but I live with Riley and Alice.**

**Chlo: Aww, that's sweet Jasper.**

**Edward: He is sweet isn't he? *takes Jasper's hand***

**Jasper: *blushes* But you live alone dontcha, Hon'? *pulls Edward away…***

**Chlo: *waves* Bye, fellas!**

**The good news is that I already have part of chapter 8 written. **

**OOO! Before I forget, I have an announcement! That Alec/Jasper o/s I wrote a while back has been continued into a full story. I'm collaborating with my beta/bestie/ficwife, ****arianawhitlock!**** It's called ****_Working the Night Shift_****, I'm writing Alec and she is writing Jasper. Go check it out! Ch. 3 should be up within a week or so (no promises). **

**Also, I'm adding my stories to a new AllTwilight, +18toEnter sight called ****TwiWrite (.) net**** … slowly but surely… I'm still figuring that site out. **

**I'll shut up now so you can read….**

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**Chapter 7: Since Thoughts of Thee Doth Banish Grief**

**JPOV**

Although I've been dreading it, finally tellin' Edward about my failed military contract was such a relief. I was so worried he'd think less of me. Who would want a damaged soldier when the Army wouldn't even take me back? Damaged. That's an understatement. I can't even take a sound resembling a gun. I'm so embarrassed about what happened on the slope. I never want anyone to see me like that, let alone Edward.

As we quickly get dressed, I decide that I'll make it my New Year's resolution to be someone he'll be proud to have as a boyfriend; and if that means staying in counseling, then so be it. I look over just in time to see him pullin' up a pair of pants. I follow the fabric up his toned thighs with my eyes to see him covering a pair of red briefs and manage to stifle a whimper. Takin' advantage of my chance at ogling him, I nearly drool watchin' how the muscles in his back and shoulders fluidly stretch and contract as he twists his torso to reach for a shirt. Fuck me! Must. Not. Get. Hard.

Thankfully, he's facin' away from me, I reach to adjust my semi, hopin' to conceal it. I'm not fast enough though and get caught with my hand on my cock the moment he turns to grab a pair of socks. When he sees my condition, he seems startled but his expression quickly changes to an ornery smirk. _Uh oh_.

"Why, Jasper," he chuckles, slowly sauntering towards me, his ice green eyes full of mischief, "what seems to be the matter, Babe?"

I roll my eyes with a huff. "It's not my fault you're so damn perfect."

Pulling me to him by my belt loops, he slides his hands around my waist down to grip my ass. I'm nearly panting by this point as he lightly trails his nose up my jaw to my ear, quickly givin' the lobe a lick. "You really should get yourself under control," he murmurs, "I give it two more minutes before Alice is back in here." He gives me a swift peck on the cheek and a slap on my ass. "Come on."

He pulls away from me before I can react, laughin' at my perturbed expression. "You tease! That wasn't fair!" I growl but can't help from laughing along with him.

"Besides," he continues, "I'm curious what Emmet has gotten himself into this time."

He heads outside and I stop into the kitchen to grab us both a muffin. Adjusting myself in the privacy of the kitchen, since everyone is outside. When I'm finally calm and in control I step onto the porch, my eyes immediately focusing on a damn near pornographic snowman standing about fifteen feet away. Oh. My. God. _What the fuck?_ The shock glues my eyeballs to it as I take it all in and when I finally manage to pull my eyes away from soft core's version of Frosty, I hear Riley and Edward layin' into Emmett.

"What the hell, Emmett? There are ladies present for Christ sake!" Shit, Edward is hot when he's angry. I don't hear much else because he and Riley are talkin' at the same time as Emmet is arguing his innocence. I look over to see Leah and Alice sitting on the porch swing, both tryin', and failin', to hold in their giggles. _Oh, I get it._

Smugly, I walk over to the girls and ask, "Okay you two, whose idea was the pine needles on the snow?"

"Don't look at me," Alice smiles, pointing to Leah, "this was all her idea. I just helped her put it together." At that, they both lose control and begin crackin' up.

Walkin' over to the guys, I try to get the heat off of Emmett by changin' the subject. "Okay y'all. It's fucking freezing and I don't wanna be out here longer than I need to be. I'm used to the desert after all. What chores have we agreed to for staying here? I want to get to it so we can go back into the heated cabin?"

That seems to do the trick. Riley immediately begins to list what trees need to be trimmed as Emmett sighs and gives me a thankful smile. Once Riley gives out the assignments, we all get to work on the yard. We get about half of the work done within about two hours so the girls decide its break time and go inside to make hot coco for all of us.

Just as I start separatin' the useable stuff for firewood behind the garage, I'm suddenly walloped on the back of my head with a snow ball. "Fuck that's cold!" I yelp. _Painfully cold damn it!_ I turn, expecting Emmett to be the culprit only to see Edward clutching his waist in a fit of laughter. Before he can bring himself under control, I attack. Lesson one, never mess with a fit solider unless you want to go down. Once he realizes my intention, it's too late and I easily catch him by the waist when he turns to run.

We're both laughin' when we tumble to the ground and he shrieks when I smear a handful of snow into his hair. We continue to roll around, wrestlin' like kids in the snow for a few moments when he gets the upper hand and rolls on top of me. He straddles my thighs and that's when I can feel his retrained erection causin' me to stop my struggling.

"Edward," I tease, "is manual labor that much of a turn on?" I nip at his neck to try and hold in my chuckles but that doesn't prevent him from his own laughter.

"What can I say; the thought of you chopping wood without a shirt on suddenly came to mind." He smirks and leans down to plant a kiss on my lips that manages to warm me from the inside, despite the snow. "Come on," he mumbles against my lips, "the girls were calling for us."

I groan in frustration when he pulls away from me but the pulls me up and directly into his arms for another quick kiss. When we walk around to the front of the house, it's obvious that we won't need to spend much more time working in the yard today. _Thank fuck._

I've missed everyone so much that I'm glad the slopes are closed for the day. As the day progresses, it feels just like it did before I left. Aside from finishing the work outside, we get the cabin ready to be sealed up for the rest of the winter. All the while, we make cracks and laugh with each other as if I'd never left.

The evening is spent with Riley and Emmett playing video games while Alice and Edward play the piano and sing in the den. Leah and I cook dinner for everyone. Once the chili has a lid on to simmer, I offer to wash while she dries. Half way through the dishes, she nudges my shoulder.

"So Jasper," Leah smiles, "how are things with you and Edward? You two didn't waste much time."

"_Things_ are goin' fine." I blush. "I was worried about taking things slowly with him because of all that shit with Jared but I'm the one having to try and keep up with Edward."

"So have you two fucked yet?" Leah deadpans, straight-faced and I try not to choke on my beer.

"Hell Leah!" I whisper-shout, "We _just _got together."

"Yes, but you two have had a hard-on for each other for years. What's the hold up?"

Dumbfounded, I shake my head. This is _not _the Leah I remember. "Shit girl, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you dig that kinda thing." I ask raising my eyebrow.

"What can I say," she shrugs, "it's hot." Not even a fuckin' blush.

"Anyway," I sigh, "it's just been one interruption right after another with everyone here. Not that I don't love spending so much time with y'all, it just seems that someone always has horrible timing."

"You won't get much sympathy." She chuckles. "We've all been there in the past and had to pay our dues. Hell, Alice and Riley have been putting up with it since they got together in high school. You two are just the last of the group to finally be where they belong."

I flick soapy water toward her and laugh at her shriek. Not much later we finish the dishes in time for dinner to be served. The night is filled with laughing, drinking, and all levels of inappropriateness while we all catch up on each other's lives. _Damn, I'm happy to be home._

Just before midnight, it's obvious that we're all drunk to some level. Riley keeps hoppin' into Emmett's lap and singing Pearl Jam to him and Edward just has a huge grin on his face with a permanent blush. We all circle around the piano and Edward pulls me down to sit next to him.

"Will you be my New Year's kiss, Jasper?" he whispers in my ear as everyone begins the countdown.

I can only nod my response as the count reaches _"5! – 4!" _he nibbles on the shell. I'm breathless at _"3! – 2!" _as he kisses his way to my lips and at _"1! – Happy New Year!" _he murmurs, "Happy New Year, Jas," into the kiss. Just before I can get completely lost in his lips, he pulls away slightly, smilin' and begins toplay _Auld Lang Syne_ and quietly sings it to me, never taking his eyes away from mine.

All too quickly, the room is buzzing with everyone's New Year's wishes for each other, all of us sharin' hugs and a peck on the cheek. I'm first pulled away by Alice, soon followed by Em. But I can't keep my focus from Edward and it seems like he can't either. With each additional festive hug, we are pulled farther apart but it's still just the two of us in the room.

At his first opportunity, he breaks away and grabs my hand, leading me to our room. No one really notices or cares that we abandon the party. The moment the door is closed behind us, his lips are at my neck and he starts to unbutton my shirt. "I need you, Jasper." He murmurs into my skin between kisses. I moan in response and reach for the hem of his sweater. _Fuck, are we going to fast?_

"Edward, Hon'," I groan, trying to slow us down. "Wait a moment. Are you sure we're ready for this?"

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**I'd love to read your thoughts in some reviews! ;-)**

**Rec**_**s: **__**Delayed Gratification**_ by **arianawhitlock** is fucking brilliant; not to mention hot as hell! And _**McFearless**_by **TeamBella23** is all sorts of angsty hotness!


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